I had the strength to take something that failed to meet any of it’s potential & turn it into something inspiring. Even with all of its flaws, smudges & cracks it means so much. It took 3 years to finally do it. But I don’t need him holding me down.
brain fuck-tions
Maybe i cant control it, bc I’ve seen it there.
And as much as i would love it not to be i know it still lingers.
It scares the fuck out of me & hurts me more than any swing anyone has ever hit me with.
Repeat nightmares
Just like in my dreams, when you always save her over me.
We go from real life having love, to cute cartoons torn apart.
I awake and everything still stings.
It feels so real to see me left in the fire.
Or drowning I the hot tub.
Or left to dye pinned under a column, you always hold her and leave me to dye young.
I don’t want no more, this pain I can not take
I’ll awake not breathing, body left in the fire.. Or the water to shrivel till blue or under things to swell up and bruise.
I just want out, I’m sick if these dreams turned bad.
The single bed
One time you told me that you never wanted to get a bigger bed so that way we could lay close and cuddle every night. But then we stopped cuddling. And started sleeping farther away. I can’t imagine what that wld feel like on an even bigger bed.
I got cocky with confidence for a 2 day period.
Only to be destroyed in a matter of seconds.
The power of a text.
